Aside 13 Apr

Spectacular night sky here. Even the distant glow of Manhattan can’t compete with the shimmery moonlight washing my stoop. What is it about the night sky that makes me feel like you’re somehow still here somewhere? It is the closest thing to comfort I find even years later.

Listening to A Case of You. I’m struck, when I go back and look at the worn pages of our earliest correspondence, how often you quoted that song to me and I know exactly what lines were resonating with you (because you told me) in the spring and summer of 1997…

I remember that time you told me you said
“Love is touching souls” 
Surely you touched mine 
‘Cause part of you pours out of me 
In these lines from time to time 
Oh, you’re in my blood like holy wine 
You taste so bitter and so sweet

I didn’t know Joni Mitchell songs then. And the way you clung to that song — constantly returning to it to explain the state you were in always made it seem like a personal possession of yours. Like a pair of socks. Something that belonged to you and with which you could do what you liked. But with you gone…somewhere, I have to believe, in that ink sky and milky moon hovering above me as I type this…I feel like i can rummage freely through your sock drawer.

With you gone, these are the lines I am taking.

I met a woman 
She had a mouth like yours 
She knew your life 
She knew your devils and your deeds 
And she said 
“Go to him, stay with him if you can 
But be prepared to bleed”


One Response to “”

  1. Wordgirl April 14, 2014 at 3:38 pm #

    You may or may not know that that is one of the most influential songs of my entire life. And Joni Mitchell… No one has touched me more or defined me more.

    Little wrinkles in the universe like that make me sure that some people we were meant to know.



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